Year End

And so we're here again. In the blink of an eye, 2010 has come and coming to an end.

So what happened throughout the year?

1. My kids have grown!!

Haryz Aiman is 3 years old. He has spoken more to the extent that we can't shut him up at times! He's nearly completely potty trained now. Even going without diapers at night for the past one week now. He's also put on a lot of weight. At 25kg with an appetite to eat everytime others have their meal. But I don't have the heart to reprimand lah. I speak to him at times. And I seriously believe that the weight will go as he grows older. We've placed a deposit to secure his place in My First Skool next year. The anxiety us driving me crazy!! Especially when he asks if I'll be there with him.

Khairul Iman is a terror at 14 mths. He seems to be everywhere at any one time. Climbing, crawling, dancing... And boy can he scream! It's become so common to see strangers covering their ears when this boy chooses to show
us his displeasure. But he is my precious la. Choosing always to be carried by me and then laying his head on my shoulder once I pick him after I reach home from work.

2. The Mister is completing his diploma in a couple of months. Though I don't tell him often enough, I am so darn proud of him for juggling work, studies, business and fatherhood. I know it hasn't been easy and much sleep has been sacrificed. But we're nearly there dear! Don't give up!

3. For me, this year will be memorable cos I finally made the move to take my driving license and passed on the first try!! Nt that I have any lifelong wish to be an F1 driver or whatever... Just that I seriously believe that everyone should have this knowledge in life.

Besides this, I finally made the move at work. I've been transferred to another SBU after being in CQ for the past 8 years in my life. Definitely will miss the place but I really felt there was no more prospects for me there and work was starting to feel like a chore. At least this new place offers me a new environment and I also hope new opportunities.

4. At home, the one thing that we were all hoping won't happened ... Well, it happened. I think all of us are still shell shocked. Or maybe is it just me? 7 mths down the road, I still feel like I'm just going through life motions until the one fine day where she comes back to us. I attribute all that has happened to fate and HIS way of planning what's best for us. Just pls pls God, don't make it even harder than it already is.

The next few days going to be very busy with DnDs, meetings, holiday and finally Haryz's preparation for school.

I pray that more good things will come for us in the year of 2011. And strength. And patience. And love... Mostly love. Amin.


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Raya 2010

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Jun 2010

I am such a lousy blogger!! Not that I've got nothing to write, bt just that I'm too LAZY to write!!

This will be my last twenty-something birthday. Yet, ask me what I have achieved in all of my 29 years, and my answer would probably be a shrug.

Yes I'm a mom of two, but I don't feel I'm a good mom. Haryz turns 3 this July and I have yet to wean him off from my breast and he is no where close to being potty trained. He's not been enrolled in a school and I suck at disciplining him.

At 8 months, Khairul alrd knows that I am someone he can bully. I feed him to sleep although this is the very thing every books on parenting tell u to not do. And dun even ask me when I will move my kids out of the king size bed which all 4 of us are currently sharing.

As a wife, I admit that I wish can be better. I am too busy with work and kids that I can see hubby feeling abandoned. But I seriously don't know hw to cope when 24 hours is all I have in a day!

And as a daughter, I wish I can provide more for my mom, who never ever asked for more. She who is satisfied with all that God gives her and takes on all our nonsense... I really hope I could have done more.

I'm getting depressed... I'm stopping here for now.

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Today - 13 May 2010

We said goodbye today. It was painful. I am sure the scar that's left behind will be with me for sometime.

It was sad too that I was the last person to see u before the door which separates u to us was shut. That I had to be the bearer of bad news to all that matters. What will our lives be like tomorrow?

He stayed today... Bringing Naqib out for kite when the kiddo wouldn't stop crying. Then later to timezone to distract them.

And Fiqri had difficulty sleeping. Such that Mak gave him ur shirt from this morning to sleep. It worked for a while.

Seeing all this, I wondered about you. The memory of you breaking when you held Fiqri will be in my mind forever. Be strong love. We will all pray for you.

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Rants

Tired. Exhausted. Angry. Unhappy. Feeling crappy.

Indeed, money is the root of all evil.


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My Boys

Once again, I can believe hw fast the time has passed. It's back to work again after 6 mths away.

Why does it still feels like a joke when i realize that I am now a mother of two? I still am not smart enough to answer the queries that will come from my boys, barely have enough patience to entertain the screams of a baby, and still squemish about poo and all yucky stuff. But here I am... Been there, done that, and doing it yet again (and again? And again? Lol!!) What is it about motherhood? The worries it brings you... If u're teaching them right? If you're feeding them right? If you're treating them right?

I'm addicted to my boys! They drive me to tears at times with their screams and demands, but leave them for half a day and I get lovesick.




Haryz, my love, is now 30 mths old. Soooo cute and mischievous! He is learning to talk and have started to form sentences in his daily converations. But, gosh, the things he says at time can make me tear with laughter!

Me: Haryz, tomorrow mummy work k. You must be a good boy and look after ur brother k?

Him: Ok

Me: You want me to bring home anything for you?

Him: Ah yes! Mi, Am, Air... Pos! (translate: mee, ayam and air. Mampos!)

Me: (in btw laughter, tries to be serious and tries to chide him, while realizing he had learnt this word from me!) Haryz cnt say that ok... No good!

Him: Pos! (complete with slapping head motion)

Mampos! Cute kan??!!

Being full of mischief means he often gets a smack on his bottom. For eg, it was my first day at work and I reached home tired and cranky due to a swollen breast. Mak was only cooking dinner. While watching me pump, Haryz was happily pouring water on my bedroom floor! Needless to say, he got a earful from me, complete with a flick on his ear. Now, screams and tears I can tahan. But definitely not the 'I'm so hurt u would do that to me' kinda look. It made me question myself if it was necessary to hit him at all. Haiyz... Parenting is no easy task man!



Khairul, my precious, is 4 month old! Boy he's one garang baby! Sleepy? Scream! Hungry? Scream! Scared? Scream! Btw me and Mak, we constantly have to take turns with him cos he needs to be entertained at all times!! But when he smiles.... I cam literally feel all my troubles fading away! I can feel all the knots in me untying and I'm melting away... Told my MIL that he will be the ultimate bad boy in school whom all the girls have a crush on. Heehee!! He's getting smarter now and has started to show a preference to BM instead of formula. His eyes follow me around the house as though saying 'play with me! Sit with me!' He likes to stand and screams whenever we try to put him in his rocker. He's got good head control as he's been lifting his head since birth and is now trying to flip. He's also shown interest in food and will look at us intently when we eat. I am still resisting it though, at least until we have the doctor's advice this Friday.

My dear readers, do u know that due to work and family commitments, this blog took me a whole 2 weeks to complete??!! But have to end here now cos my love's having fever and needs my TLC. Bubye!!!

Time

Time sure flies huh? It's alrd February and come the 22nd, it's back to work for me!

It's gonna be a bit worrisome leaving Mak at home to look after the 4 boys... But there's little we cam do about this. It will be a rush the first few weeks until each of us establish our routines.

Mak, I'm really grateful to have u doing this for us, although all of us agree it's a hugeeee task to accomplish. Thank for making it easier for me to go back to work, knowing my kids are well looked after. I love u Mak!

Me on the other hand, am so not looking forward to work. Work as usual will be very busy and I only worry about not being able to pump and having to work late. Haiyz... Why issit that working late has become a norm for all such that those who goes back on time is seen as underperformers? All these thoughts depresses me.. So I'm gonna stop here and sulk elsewhere. Till then...


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Today

We did it today, like finally. But am still not sure if our decision is for the best.

Ya Allah, I seek your blessing in the decision we have made. Please let it be the right one.

Driving Lessons

Am in the bus now on the way home after completing lesson 14 of my driving lesson.

Haiyz.. I guessed correctly that I would love driving, but did not expect myself to such a kan-cheong driver! Am hoping that this is only so in these initial stages if driving :(

I have passed my final theory way back in jul 2007... Thus am realy hoping that I can finish my practical lessons AND my TP test by Jul this year. Otherwise I will have to re-take the final theory test again which is sooo boohoo !!!

Can everyone please cross your fingers (and toes) for me??!!


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Botak

Look what hubby did whilst I was out with Haryz at Causeway
Point...



He did it again! I remembered he did this to Haryz too while I was at work about 2 years ago!

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New Year 2010

I have been wanting to blog about our new year celebration cos it's such a special celebration this year.. So pardon me if the entry is again way overdue.

This year, we went out to celebrate with my mother. I was apprehensive about bringing Khairul out so late but since hubby and Haryz was so excited about going, I decided to try our luck.

We first went for a ride on the Singapore Flyer. It was Mak's first ride on board, nt to mention Khairul's. The view was magnificent as we could see the ongoing celebration at the NDP site. After the half hour ride, we were walking around when we met Dian, hubby's secondary school friend. Found out she's about 5 months pregnant. Congrats Dian!

We wanted to walk down to Marina area but turned back halfway as it was starting to drizzle. Decided to drive to Marina South instead to wait for fireworks.

However after we bought Popeyes for supper, we realized it was only 15 minutes to midnight, so we decided to just hang around our pick-up.







It was a nice way to welcome in the New Year with your loved ones. I was also thankful to Allah for granting me my 2 babies... Mummy loves you both!

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Still awake...

It's so late, yet he insists on Barney.. haiyz, poor me!


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Changes

Khairul Iman was born on the 22nd Oct 2009 via elective c-sect at Thomson Medical Centre.

Checked into the hospital at about 5.30am, by the time I got to my bed, it was after 6 and I was told to rest till about 7am. About 7.10am, a nurse came to wheel me into the operating theatre to prepare for the op at 7.30am.

Khairul was born at exactly 7.59am weighing 4.495kg.

Hee... This entry is way overdue... But with 4 boys at home, it was difficult to find time to sit and blog. Khairul was also not like Haryz, who was a fairly easy baby. My boy's got a mind of his own and a temper to match! Mom and I gotta take turns 'layaning' him cos he still don't like to be put down.

That's why I'm so in love with my new toy... My iPhone!!! It helps me to keep in touch with the world and even allows me to blog while on the go!

Here's a pic of my loves before I go...


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