Hihi..

Hubby has gone Shanghai for his union trip since Sat morning, and it these 4 days has been LOOONG..... and not to mention so lonely. Its been a year or so since we were last separated for more than a day. The last time was when he had to go back to Malaysia for further treatment for his broken arm, whereas I had to return back to work.

But.. he's coming back today! I am definitely rushing home after work tonight. Gonna whip up a meal (poor hubby has ulcers and running nose due to the cold weather there). Something soupy, hot and healthy! Gonna bathe and welcoem him with arms wide open once I hear his footsteps outside the door (I am sounding so Hindustan movie like.. hahah!!)

I was telling a friend the other day that I am so lucky that hubby works shift. So I can simply pretend these past few nights that hubby is doing night shift. I can only imagine the loneliness if it were otherwise. Yesterday though.. I was close to tears when the the whole day passed without nary a phonecall or sms from hubby. Worried? Yes! Lonesome? Yes! In need of tender loving care? Yes, yes, yes!!!

But just as I was falling asleep the anonymous number of an overseas call flashed on my mobile. Yeay! The call!! You see.. that's how dependent I am on him. Days can pass without seeing hubby dearie (well not really.. it really is on the edge of unbearable) but a day without talking to him and I wilt like a flower that has not seen the sun.

This weekend, hubby again got to go for an overnight 'camp'. That leaves my weekend empty with no plans. Luckily I have the kids, my beloved nephews, who never fails to cheer me up.

But then again, hubby is leading a riding group up to Phuket for 8 very long (longer than forever) days! I was supposed to join him for this trip. We were partners in crime.. exploring the best bargains, the beautiful beach and long ride home during our trips to Koh Samui. And yet, for this first trip to Phuket, I am unable to go...!! Too bad that plans has been made, tickets bought and hotels booked. He's also leading another 15 or so motorcycles, so he cannot don't go.  So that leaves me at home again, pining for my other half. Haiyz.. the injustice of it all!

Well, lets not think of all that for now. I should instead look forward to his return today. For again, I will be able to sleep peacefully with him by my side. And gain, I can let my frustrations out to someone who understands that my nagging is a way for me to vent. i have my hubby with me for tonight. And for now, that is all I ask.

Pregnant at 4 months

Horrors!

I found out to my dismay last week that I can't fit into most of my pants. There's also a few shirts that I can no longer wear. Haiyz.. I can practically see my money fly away at the the moment. Thank God I have alwyas preferred loose clothings. And being big, I also tend to show lesser than all those skinny mommies.

Jillian dragged me to Suntec last Thursday. Finally gave in and bought myself two blouses and a skirt. Goodness, I didn't know maternity wear could cost so much! I'd so much rather spend my money on buying those cute stuff they have for newborns. But yes, it's still way too early. Just the 3 pieces of clothing itself set me back close to $170!!

Work has been unbearable. At this moment, i dread coming to work daily only to see the piles of papers on my table. If previously, I get satisfaction from clearing those, nowadays, I feel that I'm only doing it because I have to. I can only imagine the heavy feeling I'll get coming back to work after my maternity leave.

Thse days, the only days I look forward to are my dates with Dr. Ang. The days I can see my baby and hear its heartbeat beating so fast. It's as though he/she is also nervous at meeting me and counting down the days impatiently. Patience my little one, we still have so many months to go - 5 to be exact. I've not had enough of being pregnant. I'm still waiting for your kicks and the experience of bringing u into my world.

My tummy has started to show. To me at least. Its also funny that I realise now the presence of so many pregnant woman around me. Never could I step up of the house without seeing another pregnant woman on the streets. Even hubby has taken on a new favourtite sentence, "Eh, pregnant woman lagik!". Heehee..!

Basically, we've already planned to sign up for a package with this gynae from Thomson Medical. Conseidering taking up pre-natal massage to help me with my forever aching back. Heard from a friend that they have packages for that too. Maybe after the 7th month, I will start preparing my baby's room and etc. Still so much things for me to learn. Haven't had the time to visit the library to get reference books. So far I've only been reading up online. Those forums can be of so much help!

Ok.. that's all for today. I'll try posting a pic of myself at 4 months pregnant. But don't look out for it.. heehee. Haven't been downloading photos on for the longest time. Don't know when I will ever feel up to it. Sorry ppl!

My first trimester

*blow off dusts and cobwebs*

It feels like years since I've been here. Hee hee..

Life has just been different ever since we found out about my pregnancy. Its a time for discovery for hubby and me. We're just in awe at the moment, that somewhere inside of me, is our little baby. Truly and wonderfully ours. How can anything else beat that?

It started out with the bouts of sickness that never seems to go away. I think hubby kinda felt sick of hearing me complain about how sick and tired I felt all the time. Mom even went to the extent to pulling me one corner and advicing me, "Sometimes, we should not complain about our sickness to the husband to much, in case he gets sick of hearing and decides to stay away."

But who cares? I believe that a husband and wife goes through everything together. In sickness and in health, so he was with me every step of the way. *I love you hubby!*

First was the windy/gassy stomach feeling that I thought I was having. I was pale and hurting, making everyone worried. We went to the clinic and MIL even had someone over to give me a massage to get rid of the 'wind'.

Then came the diarhoea towards the end of November. I remember waking up in the middle of the night. Rushing to the toilet and pulling the pail in front of me while I sat at the toilet bowl. I think I let out everything that was inside of me that night. We went to the clinic the next day but suspecting nothing, went away with the ususal medications for diarhoea.

However, the vomitting part never really left me. And I got sick daily. He got used to hearing me tell him, while walking to our flat, to quickly open the door cause I'm at the verge of vomitting. I also kept taking the anti-nausea pill that the the doctor gave me cause it got so bad that taking the motorbike got me nauseous.

The increase in appetite and the bouts of sickness made me suspect that something may be happening, so I told hubby that I'd like to do a test. We were both excited and worried cos it wasn't something that we had planned for. It tested positive.

I went to KL that weekend. The bus ride was a nightmare cos I kept having to control myself. I also stayed indoors most of the time cos I was too tired to walk around. Hubby had never been nicer to me. He carried my bags, made sure I ate enough and was always considerate in asking if I needed sweets and etc.

We went to the clinic as soon as we got back and got the confirmation from the doctor. Hubby was overjoyed! He started SMS-ing everyone although I told him not too. He called both our moms and told them the good news. It was a side of him that I've never seen before!

I don't know if it was me, but my cravings just went out full-force after that. Every night, I had a craving to have one dish or another for dinner. I stayed away from chocolates even though it was my favourite. I hated my brand new handphone and could not stand the smell of perfumes. Poor hubby had to put up with all my antics.

That NY was the first time we celebrated at home. I just didn't think I could handle the crowds that year. We watched the celebrations on TV over the chips and snacks that we had bought earlier, and went to sleep after the show was over. Hurhur, what a bunch of fun loving people!

Nowadays, although I still have cravings and go through days of nausea, it wasn't as bad as before. Life has started to settle down and we are getting used to the idea of having a baby. I'm now in my 12th weeks and will be going for my 2nd gynae visit in the week after next. In the mean time, I find myself staring at babies and imagining what life will be like for me when the time comes. I wish he was here to share this moment with us...